Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
