I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize