If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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