Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
