Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Randomize
