I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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