Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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