What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
