she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Randomize
