turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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