She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
