I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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