I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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