That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
