Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
