New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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