Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Randomize
