I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
