The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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