Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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