I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
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We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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