He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
