Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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