wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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