And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
