She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you win again, gameday.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
