hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
