Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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