In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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