So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
