He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
