he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
a search helicopter?!
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
