dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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