You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Randomize
