Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
