Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
