i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
