I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
