Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize