She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
