I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
