I want to make a zoo with you.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
