i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
