if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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