i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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