When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize