this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
