she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
