So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
