Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
