im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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