Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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