my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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