The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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