Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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