New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
